Replacing Awkward With Wisdom

Parenting is both the greatest blessing and the most difficult challenge I have ever experienced. I love my kids with a great love that is indescribable. My love for them is a comforting reminder of God's love for me! God refers to Himself as our Father and calls us His children in His word. He does that in order to illustrate for us how He loves us in a way that we can understand, although our understanding of earthly parental love falls short of fully depicting the love of God for His children. What a great truth! But parenting is also incredibly difficult. There are many things that a parent is called to do that the bible doesn't lay out in step by step instructions.

I'm sure all parents have different strengths and weaknesses, but one of my greatest challenges/weaknesses as a parent has been figuring out how to discuss difficult and awkward topics with my kids. I have recently become more aware of the urgency to discuss "difficult topics" with my kids as they are getting older so I've decided to do it. This past Saturday I took my 10 year old son, Caleb, out to coffee (he had a non-coffee drink) at Starbucks and we discussed topics like Jesus, our move to Missoula, school, friends, drugs, sex, and marriage. That's a pretty wide variety of topics for a casual Saturday morning at Starbucks, don't ya think? Interestingly enough, although these topics were somewhat awkward for me to bring up, they didn't seem to be the slightest bit awkward to Caleb. He talked very openly and honestly about his perspective on these things, the way people at school view these things, and how he wants to honor God with his life. I was greatly encouraged to hear a genuine distaste for ungodly perspectives on sex, dating, and marriage. Caleb is 10. Statistics say that most boys have been introduced to porn by that age. We discussed "gross pictures" and how we need to flee the scene if anyone tries to show us stuff like that. It was such a great eye opener to see how easy and un-awkward it was to discuss these things. As a matter of fact, Caleb really enjoyed our time and expressed desire to talk like that more often!

On a trip to the grocery store, my 13 year old daughter, Courtney and I had a similar conversation about boys, drugs, and the friends we make over a Red Bull energy drink. It was a blessing to hear Courtney describe how she confronted a friend about having a boyfriend because "your not supposed to really date until you're ready to get married and looking for a spouse." Both Caleb and Courtney showed great wisdom in my conversations with them. I was pleased to see how they are exhibiting much evidence of God's grace in their lives.

God's word exhorts parents to train up our children in the way that they should go. In order to do that, we need to actually spend time with our kids, one on one, and communicate with them about more than the silly things we love to discuss. Let me tell you; the kids at school don't think it's awkward to talk about sex and drugs. The problem is that they will discuss it wrongly. The kids at school would love to train up OUR kids in the way that the WORLD thinks they should go if we, as the parents, are not training them up rightly. If we are not talking to our kids about the proper perspectives on important issues, they will very easily adopt the perspectives and world views of their unbelieving friends. I have not been the best at this in the past, but by God's grace that will change going forward. Let me encourage you to join me in this! Let's engage our children regarding the crucial issues that they are facing, even before they are facing them if possible. Let's provide our children with a biblical world view at a young age and teach them to discern truth from error. It may be weird for us at first and we may not know where to start, but if we step out in faith and just do it, God will bless it and use it in mighty ways.

If you are like me, and you have failed in this area in the past, don't be discouraged. God is gracious and merciful. Jesus died on the cross for the sins that we commited, and the important things that we have omitted. He died for the bad things we've done and the good things we haven't done. Receive His forgiveness in Christ. There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Repent! Even if your kids are older and out of the house; be a presence in their lives! Speak wisdom into their lives and express your sorrow for not having done it in the past. This will bring God much glory.

~ Issac