Sunday, November 7, 2010

Guilt Vs. Grief

As a good friend of mine was preparing to leave Missoula to follow God on an adventure to Phoenix Arizona, we got together for some fellowship over a pumpkin milkshake at McDonald's. It was a bitter sweet time; Bitter because I knew we wouldn't be able to continue to have times like that, but sweet because the LORD guided us into some great and encouraging conversation. One of the things we talked about I want to share with you in this blog, and others I will probably share in future blogs. I hope this blesses you as much as it blessed my friend and I.

In 2 Corinthians 7:9-10 we read "As it is, I rejoice, not because you were grieved, but because you were grieved into repenting. For you felt a godly grief, so that you suffered no loss through us. For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.". Although my friend Mark and I didn't reference this particular scripture in our casual conversation, we spoke of the principle communicated in it; The fact that there are two types of responses to our sin. When we sin, as Christians, our response is either a godly grief which leads to repentance, or a worldly grief, which is really just guilt that leads to death.

I'd like to illustrate for you the difference between guilt and grief. I work in a call center in the customer service field. This is a very stressful job that often consists of taking the brunt of people's frustrations about their dissatisfaction with the product they are receiving. This is definitely not a job that just anyone can do. You have to be built for this type of work, and to be honest, sometimes I wonder if I am built for it. But let's say one day I go into work and I finally just lose it. I haven't been praying or reading my bible, so I'm not walking in the Spirit, and it just so happens that I get a phone call where a customer is yelling and cursing at me. In the moment I forget where I am and what I'm doing and I retaliate with harsh and hurtful words. I don't curse at him, but I might as well because I am talking to this customer with hatred in my heart. Later when I get home, what I happens? I feel guilty. I shouldn't have done that. It was wrong of me. Oh, well. What's done is done. I'll just move on and try not to do that anymore. That is guilt.

Here is the contrast. I'm married to the most beautiful woman I know. Not a day goes by when I don't consider how blessed I am to have her in my life. But this particular day I've had a bad day. Work was especially stressful and I am just looking forward to getting home and "vegging out". Much to my disappointment, when I arrive at home "vegging out" isn't an option. My wife, who also worked a full 8 hour day, is trying to get dinner done, but needs me to go to the store quickly for an ingredient she's missing. Once I get back the kids need help with their homework and I've got to do it because she has laundry to do after dinner. All I want to do is sit on the couch and look at my iPhone, but I do what she asks begrudgingly and dutifully. When I come home from the store my wife doesn't hesitate to inform me that what I bought was not at all what she needed; apparently I misunderstood. That's it. At this point I loose my temper and begin to yell and scream at her. I search and find the most hurtful things that I can possibly say to her so that she will feel twice as bad as how I feel. When she tries to calm me I raise my hand as though I'm going to hit her as a means of "showing her that I mean business". Once she looks at me with fear in her eyes and runs off crying to our bedroom, it hits me. "What have I done?" At this point, what happens? I am grieved! How could I do such a thing to someone I love so deeply! My soul vexes within me as I cry and ask myself over and over, "What did I do? What did I do? What did I do?" That is grief.

By God's grace, neither of these are true stories from my life, but rather they are fictional stories to illustrate the difference between guilt and grief. In both of these stories the sin was the same; a loss of temper that manifested itself in a raised voice and hurtful words. What made the difference? The difference was in the relationship I had with the one I had sinned against. I merely felt guilty for yelling at the customer at work because I didn't know him from Adam. He was no one important to me, so I felt guilty only because I knew I should. But my wife is a different story. I love her. I cherish her. I know her very intimately and care for her very deeply. The thought that I had done anything to hurt her crushed me beyond words.

Many of us know the story of King David's sin of adultery and murder against Bathsheeba and Uriah. After all is said and done in that situation, David acknowledges that he has sinned against God and God alone. What about Bathsheeba? What about Uriah's family? Oh, David had sinned against all of them, but most importantly, what David realized, is that all of his sin was against God, and that grieved him. Our response to sin is going to be directly related to our relationship with the one we sin against. If God is someone we love and treasure, and cherish above all things, we will be grieved when we sin against Him. It will crush us and vex us deep within our souls to know that we have done anything against the one whom we love more than life; we will be grieved by our sin and it will lead to repentance. But if God isn't that important to us, chances are that when we sin against Him we'll just feel guilty. It won't much matter to us that we've offended and hurt our God; we'll mainly just feel guilty because we know we should...and that will lead to death.

So what is your response to your sin? Is it guilt or grief? Do you experience godly grief that leads to repentance, or do you just feel guilty (AKA wordly grief)? If we only feel guilty then the chances are that we don't love God as much as we would like to believe we do. If this is the case, how do we cultivate deeper love for God? I'll answer this in an upcoming blog. (hint: read James 4:8) But what about those that are grieved? Do we allow our grief to consume us? Is there hope for us once we know that we've sinned against the one we love? This answer also to come in an upcoming blog.(hint: read Micah 7:8-10)

Issac

Monday, June 21, 2010

Lessons on Building Relationships From Directv.

About a month ago I started working for Directv here in Missoula, MT. 2 days after I arrived in Montana I was offered a job as a technical support agent at Directv. I've been so grateful for God's provision for my family through this job. Well, although I was hired on day 2, I didn't start for about another 30 days.

Anyway, for the last 4 weeks I've been going through Directv's vigorous technical support training and it has been intense. One thing I like about Directv is their commitment to provide the best possible customer service possible. One of the ways that they seeks to accomplish that is by "building a relationships" with every customer that calls in. As a technical support agent, I need to get the customer in a place where they are willing to work with me in troubleshooting their technical issues. If they are not willing to partner with me in taking steps to troubleshoot, their issue doesn't get resolved and I'm not successful in my position. "The way that we get the customer willing to work with us", says my trainer, "is that we build a relationship with them." "A relationship" he says, "can be built within the first 30 seconds of the call." The way Directv sees it, a friendly tone and an interest in how the customer is doing is enough to build a relationship with the customer. I find this interesting.

One of the reasons this stands out to me is because of what I often hear from Christians about preaching the gospel. "I can't preach the gospel unless I have first built a relationship with someone" is the understanding of many Christians. The problem is that we don't think like Directv; we think a relationship is built over a period of weeks or even months. The problem with that is that neither we, nor the person we are sharing the gospel with is promised tomorrow. Back in Santa Fe, as I was street witnessing, I had the opportunity to share the gospel with a teenager who told me that he was "only 18 and why should he care about what happens when he dies". About two years later this same kid started working at the same place that I was working. I reminded him that I had talked to him about Jesus a couple years ago and he claimed that he didn't remember. Two days later he didn't show up for work because he had commit suicide the night before. I was grieved to see that 2 days before he died he still hadn't believed the gospel, but I was glad that I shared the good news of Jesus Christ with him while he was living. You see, I wouldn't have shared the gospel with that guy if I was waiting to "build a relationship" with him over a period of months. When I approached him in the Plaza of Santa Fe I built a relationship with him within the first 30 seconds of our conversation. I greeted him with a smile and I joked with him a bit, but I wanted him to know that I had some good news to share with him. He listened. He wasn't offended that he barely knew me. He actually thanked me for talking to him and said he would consider what I said.

I think that we, as Christians, can learn something from Directv. At Directv, I need to build a relationship with the customer so that they will be willing to work with me. They don't have to be my best friend, they just have to be willing to work with me to get their dish working. And as Christians, we don't have to make people our closest friends before we can share the gospel with them; we just need to get them to a point where they will hear what we have to say. It doesn't take long. A guy in a grocery store line, that doesn't know me from Adam, can tell me all about the idols that he worships and how I should worship those idols too (not in those terms)without taking 5 minutes to build a relationship with me. Why can't I tell Him about the true and living God that I worship and how that God loves Him and died so that He could be saved? Look, Jesus didn't say to go into all the world and build relationships so that maybe one day we can tell them about Jesus. He said to go into all the world and PREACH THE GOSPEL (Mark 16:15). Romans 1:16 says that the gospel is the POWER OF GOD unto salvation to everyone who believes. Why would we keep that power to ourselves?

Stop believing the lie that you have to earn the right to be heard; that you earn that right over weeks and months of "building relationship". Take it from Directv; "you can build a relationship with a person within the first 30 seconds of the conversation." Don't let unbiblical misconceptions prevent you from sharing the gospel because you think you haven't "earned the right" yet. Share it! Don't keep it quiet! How beautiful are the feet of those who PREACH THE GOOD NEWS! (Romans10:15) Now get out there and tell the people in your life that Jesus loves them and died so that they can be saved!

Monday, June 7, 2010

Replacing Awkward With Wisdom

Parenting is both the greatest blessing and the most difficult challenge I have ever experienced. I love my kids with a great love that is indescribable. My love for them is a comforting reminder of God's love for me! God refers to Himself as our Father and calls us His children in His word. He does that in order to illustrate for us how He loves us in a way that we can understand, although our understanding of earthly parental love falls short of fully depicting the love of God for His children. What a great truth! But parenting is also incredibly difficult. There are many things that a parent is called to do that the bible doesn't lay out in step by step instructions.

I'm sure all parents have different strengths and weaknesses, but one of my greatest challenges/weaknesses as a parent has been figuring out how to discuss difficult and awkward topics with my kids. I have recently become more aware of the urgency to discuss "difficult topics" with my kids as they are getting older so I've decided to do it. This past Saturday I took my 10 year old son, Caleb, out to coffee (he had a non-coffee drink) at Starbucks and we discussed topics like Jesus, our move to Missoula, school, friends, drugs, sex, and marriage. That's a pretty wide variety of topics for a casual Saturday morning at Starbucks, don't ya think? Interestingly enough, although these topics were somewhat awkward for me to bring up, they didn't seem to be the slightest bit awkward to Caleb. He talked very openly and honestly about his perspective on these things, the way people at school view these things, and how he wants to honor God with his life. I was greatly encouraged to hear a genuine distaste for ungodly perspectives on sex, dating, and marriage. Caleb is 10. Statistics say that most boys have been introduced to porn by that age. We discussed "gross pictures" and how we need to flee the scene if anyone tries to show us stuff like that. It was such a great eye opener to see how easy and un-awkward it was to discuss these things. As a matter of fact, Caleb really enjoyed our time and expressed desire to talk like that more often!

On a trip to the grocery store, my 13 year old daughter, Courtney and I had a similar conversation about boys, drugs, and the friends we make over a Red Bull energy drink. It was a blessing to hear Courtney describe how she confronted a friend about having a boyfriend because "your not supposed to really date until you're ready to get married and looking for a spouse." Both Caleb and Courtney showed great wisdom in my conversations with them. I was pleased to see how they are exhibiting much evidence of God's grace in their lives.

God's word exhorts parents to train up our children in the way that they should go. In order to do that, we need to actually spend time with our kids, one on one, and communicate with them about more than the silly things we love to discuss. Let me tell you; the kids at school don't think it's awkward to talk about sex and drugs. The problem is that they will discuss it wrongly. The kids at school would love to train up OUR kids in the way that the WORLD thinks they should go if we, as the parents, are not training them up rightly. If we are not talking to our kids about the proper perspectives on important issues, they will very easily adopt the perspectives and world views of their unbelieving friends. I have not been the best at this in the past, but by God's grace that will change going forward. Let me encourage you to join me in this! Let's engage our children regarding the crucial issues that they are facing, even before they are facing them if possible. Let's provide our children with a biblical world view at a young age and teach them to discern truth from error. It may be weird for us at first and we may not know where to start, but if we step out in faith and just do it, God will bless it and use it in mighty ways.

If you are like me, and you have failed in this area in the past, don't be discouraged. God is gracious and merciful. Jesus died on the cross for the sins that we commited, and the important things that we have omitted. He died for the bad things we've done and the good things we haven't done. Receive His forgiveness in Christ. There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Repent! Even if your kids are older and out of the house; be a presence in their lives! Speak wisdom into their lives and express your sorrow for not having done it in the past. This will bring God much glory.

~ Issac

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Communion - Are You Worthy?

This weekend we celebrated Communion at Remedy Church. It was such a powerful weekend of considering the way that Jesus Christ served the church by going to the cross for our sins. The practice of Communion was instituted by Jesus Christ, Himself, as a means of remembering His love for us and the cost that He paid to demonstrate that love and accomplish our redemption. He commanded that we do it often, so we, at Remedy plan to do so; at least once a month. (And even more as we feel God leading us in that direction from time to time)

The problem with communion though, rather the problem with people taking communion, is that many times we come to communion feeling so unworthy. I don't know about you, but my sin is ever before me. I am so aware of the many ways that I fall short of perfection on a daily basis, however, that awareness is increased at any given communion service. Rightfully so! Paul the Apostle, in 1 Corinthians 11:27-30, gives a firm warning about taking communion in an unworthy manner. He says that in the Corinthian church some were struck with illnesses and even died for taking communion in an unworthy manner. Communion is a very serious thing, and I almost always take it with fear and trembling recognizing my sin and feeling unworthy.

The Question becomes, then; who is worthy? If all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God then who can truly come and celebrate Communion in a manner that is worthy? Well, first I think it is important to recognize the immediate context of the passage. Paul was addressing, in chapter 11, some very specific abuses of communion in the Corinthian church. Paul addresses the divisions and factions that were going on within this particular church body and the way that their self focus and lack of unity had corrupted this sacred sacrament of communion. So when Paul calls for self examination, he's not only referring to general sin, but specifically the sin of self focus and division which led to a perversion of the sacrament itself. It is no small thing to take the sacred and make it a means to serve the sinful desires of your flesh. This is what Paul had in mind.

So does understanding that negate our responsibility to examine ourselves before communion today? Absolutely not! Although the immediate context of this passage refers to the specific sin of the Corinthian church, the call for self examination and repentance remains for us to apply today. The fact that we may not be filling up on the Communion crackers and getting drunk on the wine doesn't necessarily mean our hearts are prepared to partake in communion in a worthy manner. We must examine and identify the sin in our lives. We must grieve over that sin and plead with God for forgiveness. We must look at the elements of Communion, consider what they represent (the suffering and crucifixion of Christ on our behalf) and recognize that it was that very sin that put Jesus on the cross. We must repent. We must see Christ as more satisfying than our sin. We must desire an unhindered relationship with Jesus more than we desire the gratification of our flesh. We must not only plead with God for forgiveness, but also that He might grant us repentance.

The problem is that once we are confronted with our sin in that respect, and recognize that it was OUR OWN SIN that put Jesus on the cross, and we are begging for forgiveness and repentance, the last feeling in our minds is "worthiness". That is where the gospel comes in! That is when we must remember again what the elements represent; the death of Christ IN OUR PLACE and FOR OUR SINS in order to PURCHASE OUR FORGIVENESS and RIGHTEOUSNESS (AKA worthiness!). Communion is for believers. Believers believe the gospel. And if we believe the gospel, then we believe that Christ paid the price and atoned for ALL of our sins; even the ones we committed today. If we are believers then we believe that Jesus, who had never sinned, became sin on our behalf, so that we might be made the righteousness of God. Our worthiness is not in ourselves; it is in Christ. Through faith in Him, His righteousness (worthiness) is ours. That is the gospel! Though we examine ourselves, our focus must not stay on ourselves. Our focus must always shift to Jesus and what He accomplished for us in Christ; our salvation, our right standing with God, our righteousness, our worthiness.

So, are you worthy? In and of yourself you are just like me; absolutely unworthy! You're sin is against God, and God alone; it has made you an enemy of God. In and of yourself you are worthy of only judgement. But, if by God's grace, through faith you have believed the gospel and trusted Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of sins, then you are 100% worthy to approach God and partake in communion! There should be no doubt in your mind about your worthiness! To doubt your worthiness is to doubt the effectiveness of Christ to fully cleanse and forgive you; it is to doubt the gospel! Believe in the completed work of the cross! Always examine yourself; mourn and grieve over your sin; confess and repent; and then stop looking at yourself and look to Jesus - the author and PERFECTER of your faith! You are worthy in Him!

If you have yet to trust Jesus, don't wait any longer! Confess your sin to Him today! He's listening! Ask Him to forgive you of your sins because you believe that Jesus died for them! If you've done this I would love to encourage you and pray for you! Leave a comment and I'll get in touch with you!

Grace and peace...

~Issac